Tarot for Healing


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This entry from my journal is dated 1/30/03

I used Mary K Greer’s book, Tarot For Your Self  a lot when I first began exploring Tarot and recommend it to anyone that wants to learn how to use Tarot to it’s fullest potential. I encourage you to check out Mary Greer’s Blog as well as use her book for a better understanding of how Tarot can enrich our lives. You can purchase her book here.

I used the World Spirit Tarot for this exercise. By Lauren O’Leary & Jessica Godino
Tarot Deck – 78 Cards – Published by Llewellyn 2001Published by Llewellyn 2006

This was a great exercise for reviewing my life. Mary starts the exercise off by stating, “In order to take control of your life, you need to see it in broad perspective.”  I couldn’t agree more. I will add that honesty is essential in this exercise even if the truth about yourself makes you cringe.

Here is a summary of the exercise from her book:

•List 12 major events that brought you where you are today. Mary emphasizes that it is important to list the 12 major steps that brought you to where you are today.

•Correlate each event with a Minor Arcana card – The What. This should be the card that best illustrates the event.

•Select a court card to represent the aspect of yourself that desired or instigated each turning point – The Who

•Choose a Major Arcana card for each of the 12 turning points to indicate why you made the choice you did – The Why. I used more then one for my turning points.

Event 1 – Daddy’s Death – Out of my control

The What

WS 5 PentsThe What

5 of Pentacles – I felt alone and poor in the sense that I had lost something so important to me.  Locked away from him forever. Even those around me were crippled with loss. It also shows my fear of being alone and feelings of insecurity.

The Why

World Spirit Tower
World Spirit WheelThe Why

I chose The Tower and The Wheel of Fortune.  I chose the Wheel of Fortune because it was a part of my life that I had no control over.  I chose the Tower because it turned my life upside down and completely uprooted my entire feeling of security. I was only 11! The bolt going through the heart represents my pain.

The Who

World Spirit Seer of PentsThe Who

The Seer of Pentacles – because it was my Father always taught us to cherish life. Here is where I made the vow to embrace life.

Event 2 – Mom marrying Pa (I call my Step Father ‘Pa’) – Happy times

The What

World Spirit 3 of WandsThe What

3 of Wands – The man is jumping for joy! The sun is shinning. This guy looks as happy as I felt when Mom married Pa. The bag at his waist is full of coins which represents how I felt secure again once Mom remarried. The river is in the background and we spent so much happy and fun times at the Hudson River!

The Why

World Spirit The Fool

World Spirit TemperanceThe Why

The Fool and Temperance – The Fool was chosen because at this point in my life I started seeing things in a whole new way! A more carefree and happy time then all the years Dad was sick. We had fun!   It was also a time of healing. After all those years being in a home full of sickness and dying we finally had our time to heal as a family.

The Who –

World Spirit Seer of PentsThe Who

Again I chose the Page of Discs. When Pa came into our lives it defined a whole new world that was outside of the four walls of our home. We got out more and explored. I was for the first time (My Dad had been very ill since I was 7) in my life I found a whole new world to explore! Pa had us outside all the time. He was a science teacher as well so there was lots of learning and exploring!

Event 3 – Becoming a born again Christian – I have mixed feelings about this time in my life

The What – 2 of Wands

World Spirit 2 of WandsThe What

This was the first step in my spiritual journey. A truly magical time for me. A part of me cherishes this time and a part of me is a little embarrassed too.  Becoming close to God (the star) and deciding what I was going to believe.  The ocean representing the journey.  However, the person in the card (me) is only paying attention to the one star. He is still not seeing the whole picture.

The Why – The Hermit and the Sun.

World Spirit HermitWorld Spirit Sun

I chose the Hermit because I was exploring deep inside myself and looking for answers. I was also removed from reality.  I was in my own world and “spreading the light”. Although, I did make a connection to God during this time, I lost everything else. I forgot about the ‘real world’.  I also chose the Sun for this time.   This was a very happy time for me. I really felt like I had found what I was looking for.  I was a beautiful Child of God!

The Who – Seeker of Wands

World Spirit Seeker of Wands

I was obsessed with spreading the light!!! So much so I was not looking where I was going! All I wanted was to be close to God. Nothing else mattered to me. No one could tell me different!

Event 4 – Deciding not to give Joey up for adoption – Wasn’t a very hard decision to make. I knew deep down that this was meant to be.

The What – 7 of Cups

World Spirit 7 of CupsThe What

I was under the delusion that this was going to be easy because God was on my side and as long as I had Jesus in my life, everything would be ok. I had no idea all the responsibility and work that lay ahead of me. I was in a dream world. But this misconception is what made me decide to keep my son. I was only 19 at the time and his Dad took off like a bandit so I was alone too. I truly believed that having Jesus in my life would magically make everything work out.

The Why – High Priestess, The Empress and the Moon

World Spirit High Priestess, Empress, MoonThe Why

A force greater then me told me to keep him. It was a voice I could not ignore. I knew it was meant to be.   The motherly love for him was already there. The bond was so strong already that Wild Horses couldn’t drag him from me! He was MY CHILD! My love for him and my protectiveness for him CONSUMED me.   It was an intuitive decision as well.  It was karma.  I knew Joey would play in important role in my life.

The Who- The Seer of Cups

World Spirit Seer of CupsThe Who

I was not listing to what others told me anymore. I was totally listening to my heart and paying attention to what it told me. My love over flowed for him!

Event 5 – Marrying Phil – the beginning of dark times…..

The What- 5 of Cups

World Spirit 5 of cupsThe What

All the things I believed in with my heart and soul knocked over. Destroyed. The feeling of no hope at all. All was lost. Misery.  I had such high hopes (the Unicorn on the hill) but the day after I married him, I felt like all my cups of joy had been knocked over.

The Why – Justice and the Devil

World Spirit Justice
World Spirit Devil
The Why

I felt it was the right (or should I say Christian) thing to do. I wasn’t listening to that inner voice that screamed, “DON”T DO IT!!!!!”  My eyes were covered when I should have been looking.   I was led by the opinions of others (the Church) and not by my own feelings (RUN!!!!).  I let their opinions of my ‘situation’ make my decision.

The Who – Seeker of Wands

World Spirit Seeker of WandsThe Who

Oh, he thinks he is the bomb, but the dumb ass isn’t even looking where he’s going!!!! He is letting a donkey lead the way!!!

Event 6 – Going back to finish College

The What – 2 of Pentacles

World Spirit 2 of DiscsThe What

Why this card??? Because she is juggling too much stuff, of course!  The glasses, the lighthouse, as the goal of graduation. It’s the perfect card.

The Why – Hierophant, Emperor, Justice

World Spirit Hierophant, Emporor, JusticeThe Why

Again, a thirst for knowledge.  A ‘mini’ journey if you will.  I love to learn new things. It makes me feel empowered like the Hierophant is. I felt that having knowledge in the form of a degree would earn me respect.  I wanted to live better. I was tired of waitressing only to barely get by! I wanted to build my life into something meaningful. Besides, my husband made me go back to school. It is the one good thing he did during our marriage!  I knew it was the right thing to do for both myself and my child.

The Who – Seeker of Pentacles

world Spirit Seeker of DiscksThe Who

Now this seeker is going in the right direction! He is looking where he is going and has his eye on his goal. Work, work, work, for 6 more years…. work, work, work…..

Event 7 – Divorcing Phil – The only thing left to do…

The What – 5 of Swords

World Spirit 5 of SwordsThe What

He broke my spirit. He made me believe I was the problem. He controlled me. I felt like the beat up looser by the time I got to the point of divorce.  I can almost hear Phil’s malicious laughter coming from the person in the background.

The Why – Death, World, Justice

World Spirit DeathWorld Spirit the Universe
World Spirit JusticeThe Why

Quite simply, death of the old Amy and birth of a new woman. An Amy on fire at that!  Free!!! Free!!! Free!!!  Saw things in a whole new light. Only answering to myself and realizing that I was not the cause of all the problems!  Quite simply was the only thing left for me to do. There was no balance in my life unless I did this. It was not fair for me to have to live that way.

The Who – Sibyl of Swords

World Spirit Sybil of SwordsThe Who

Don’t mess with me. I will chew you up and spit you out! You made me! I can see beyond your deceitful ways now. I know the truth and the truth has set me free. I will do whatever it takes to protect my children.

Event 8 – Letting Joey live with Phil – One of the hardest things I have ever had to do.

The What – 8 of Swords

World Spirit 8 of SwordsThe What

As painful as it was I felt I had no other choice.  I had no idea what to do and I felt scared and I was getting so many opinion. I couldn’t see what was the truth (Owl) or deceitful (Snake).

The Why – Temperance, Wheel of Fortune

World Spirit Temperance
World Spirit WheelThe Why

Joey was out of control and I could not keep him safe from himself any longer. I also needed a safe and sane environment for my daughter. Phil loved Joey and Joey listened to his Dad. It was what Joey and Rachael needed at the time.  Again, I feel like this decision was out of my hands. It was the hardest decision to make, but once I blocked out all the emotional advise from others and asked myself honestly what was best for my kids, there was only one answer. I also feel, looking back, that Phil and Joey had their own Karma to work out.

The Who – Sage of Cups

World Spirit Sage of CupsThe Who

I had to listen to my heart. To pay attention to what mine and my children’s hearts were crying out for.  Very emotional time.

Event 9 – Not marrying Glenn

The What – 7 of Wands

The What

I was standing up for what I believed in and what I had worked hard to achieve.  Glenn would have sapped me dry.  Important to note it was myself I was standing up to, because the old Amy would have reasoned it away and just done it for the sake of not being alone, but the new Amy said, no! I will have my Soul Mate or I would rather be alone!

The Why – Star, Hanged Man

The Why

With Glenn, my spiritual side would have never blossomed.  I would have been stifled. Glenn was not a bad man, but he wasn’t the right man. I also knew deep down that in this huge world we live in was the perfect person for me. If I found him great, if not, well, perhaps in another lifetime.   I needed time alone. He was suffocating me. Needed to self-asses and re-evaluate. Not the typical thing to do after you become engaged.

The Who – Sibyl of Wands

The Who

Taking control of my life. Knowing what I want and not settling for less. Not needing someone else to feel complete. Take charge and own my life.

Event 10 – Forgiving Phil – the most healing and magical thing that ever happened to me. One doesn’t truly understand the power of forgiveness until one experiences it. Not forced forgiveness, but true heartfelt forgiveness.

The What – 3 of Cups

The What

This was a tough one to pick because this was not just one act or process that led to the forgiveness, which is why I picked this card.  The way they are looking at each other, One woman is touching the other gently.  The circle in the background showing how Phil and I have come full circle.  The Crone in the back is my subconscious saying, “see? that wasn’t so hard, was it?” The bird is singing in joy.

The Why – Sun, World

World Spirit Sun

World Spirit the UniverseThe Why

Truly the best thing I have ever done.  For every one involved. You don’t realize how much hatred and bitterness eat you up inside until you let it go. You are then free to start again.  I am free to dance again! Forgiving Phil was a major accomplishment for my soul’s journey, hence the card that represents the end of a cycle. Karma, karma! I also felt quite literally like a weight was lifted off me when I let it go.

The Who – Sibyl of Cups

The Who

Now I can give back to those I love. The bad feelings I felt toward Phil were holding me back. Now I am free to give and love freely. I can reach out to others that I love now because I am not consumed with negative feelings.

Event 11 – Dealing with Joey’s addiction

The What – 9 of Swords

The What

Pain, pain, pain! Staying up at night wondering where my son is. Is he alive? Torment, pain, no sleep, heartache, pain. There is nothing else. Just my child in danger and there is me feeling helpless.

The Why – Strength

The Why

This is a tough one.  This event in my life ties so many things. If it weren’t for this event, I would have never forgiven Phil.  It’s amazing how stupid your gripes appear when your child’s life is on the line. My decision to keep Joey was based on the belief that he was going to play a big role in my life and other people’s lives. Strength, through all this, I have learned to tame the lion in me.  Am I still on fire, yes, but it doesn’t consume me anymore. Like the tree in the background giving me strength and calmness. Despite all this chaos and pain I have made the decision to be happy, to not let the pain and despair over run me. I believe that happiness is a decision and I choose to be happy. I believe that life can still be beautiful. I will not let my despair take my happiness from me.

The Who – Seeker of Swords

The Who

Nothing can stop me, not even the rain. I will get through this.

Added 2/12/12 – This was written years ago.  Since then my son has been drug free for 8 yrs and has graduated college. I have also married my Soul Mate, Marc, who was well worth the wait and more than I could ever have hoped for in a husband!

The deck, World Spirit Tarot is available through Llewellyn Worldwide.

Illustrations from The World Spirit Tarot used by permission of Llewellyn Publications, P.O. Box 64383, Dept. 1-56718-500-9, St. Paul, MN  55164-0383, USA.  Artwork ©2001 Lauren O’Leary.  Text ©2001 Lauren O’Leary and Jessica Godino.  All rights reserved.  Further reproduction prohibited.

Tarot Round Robin – How Can I Be A Better Candle?


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Hi and welcome! I am very excited to be a part of this Tarot Round Robin!

If you haven’t already, please make sure to check Tarot Witchery for their post on How to be a better candle.

What is a Tarot Round Robin? It is a group of Tarot Bloggers all posting simultaneously on the same question. The only rule is it be somehow related to Tarot. It should be fascinating to find out the creative ways others have chose to answer the question, “How can I be a better candle?”

I had plenty of time to ponder this and it led me to ask myself what is it symbolically that the candle does? Most obviously it sheds light on things but really when we ponder more on the question it becomes more obvious how important a candle is. How we rely on it to find our way.

As a Tarot reader it is my desire to shed light on other people lives and specific issues so that my client can understand and find direction in their lives and areas where they need more clarity.

So, to be a better candle is to shine bright and where it does the most good. It means being strong enough not to be snuffed out by the winds of doubt.  Doubts are the enemy to my skills as a reader and would cause my flame to flutter out.  There is more to being a good reader than just knowing the cards and practicing using them. I also work hard to keep my confidence up. There are many practices that are important as a reader that help to keep us in touch with our inner voice. Here are some I recommend

Before any event where I will be doing readings I make sure I have time to quiet my mind and do a Chakra alignment and clearing. This keeps my third eye open and clear and keeps me in touch with Spirit.

Fresh air and walks in nature do much to dispel doubts and keep us healthy and our minds clear.

I do Reiki on myself as often as possible to keep my energy flowing and my Spirit in a calm place.

Also very important is daily meditation.

Before each reading I say a prayer that my reading will be for the person’s highest good and that I hear their message very clear. Also before each reading and after Water is very important.

When it is time to read the cards, I don’t think about it, I feel it. I speak what I feel and don’t allow my brain to over think things. If doubts or fears creep in during a reading I send them to the light. Good bye!

To see what I could do right now to be a better candle I laid the following spread using The Star Tarot by Cathy McClelland

1. What can I practice to remove doubt from my heart? I drew the Emperor

The Emperor brings order to chaos.  He is surrounded by creatures we would normally fear, yet they rest at his feet.   The card speaks 2 things to me.  Instead of conquering fear I must forgive it. It is a normal feeling and if I forgive and let it go it is no longer a threat just as the Dragon and Lion are no longer a threat.  A more practical message for me is to be better prepared in all things.  I need to have a plan and a schedule. I will start blocking out time to make sure I remained focused on whatever the task is that needs to be done. It could be blogging, marketing, or the exercises I mention above, but whatever it is will be better time spent if I stick to a plan.  Being prepared means less worry and less worry means less doubts!

2. How can I be a better Candle? I drew the Fool

Again the strong message I get is to not be afraid.  The light in his chest tells me this is where my light and my communication needs to come from.  This is where I “feel” my messages when giving a reading.  The Fool is innocent and pure and has not yet been corrupted by life. Likewise, I must not let the “mind” interfere. The “mind” has no place in a reading.  I must move ahead without a though of being wrong.  There is no wrong, just following my heart.  The Fool does not care what other’s think.

3. How do I spread my light further? I drew The Moon

It is hard to see the light of a candle in full daylight, but one candle in the darkness of night will shine very brightly and show people The Moon tells me that my light will shine further when I use it to help those that are lost.  It is easy and comfortable to share and serve amongst those of the same mind and beliefs, but to step out to where you are not understood and shine is where I can do the most good.

Thanks for being a part of this Tarot Round Robin! Please see how others are answering this question by visiting Andrew at The Hermit’s Lamp

The Magician – Constantly Recreating Himself


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Here is a post from my Tarot Journal dated back to 2006. It includes a comparative between some of my favorite decks.

The Magician: Power. This guy has what it takes to make things happen. He draws his power from above, and his resources from the earth.

Some Key Words: Power, self assured, well equipped, confidence, intense, leadership, unlimited resources.

Symbolism/things I notice: The snake around his waist is eating its own tail. I can’t help but think of the phrase, “biting off your nose (or tail) to spite your face”. I guess this means that The Magician can be vengeful if provoked.

The wand in the air looks like a candle with a wick on either end. Like the fire is burning on both sides. The fire would be his inspiration. Comes from above and below.

There are flowers above him and below him, but only the white lilies are below. Lilies remind me of Easter, so rebirth or new life, Roses speak of passion. ok, I am going to put this together now…our passion for spiritual matters enable us to give birth to things here on earth. As long as our intentions are pure. Oh, just noticed, even his clothes are white and red, like the flowers.

All the symbols of the Minor Arcana cards are on his table. I take this to mean he has mastery over them. Them being his feelings (Cups), his material concerns (Pentacles), his mental thoughts (Swords) and his passions (Wands).

I wonder why he has that head band. Also the infinity symbol over his head. Maybe it means he is in touch with the Universe. The infinity symbol meaning his inspirations are limitless. The headband covers his Third Eye Chakra so maybe he is less psychic and more energy driven. Hence the wand.

He does look rather crowded in with the canopy of flowers all around him. The wooden table has a dove flying straight up on it. His clothes are loose and comfy looking. The symbols representing the 4 elements sit on his table waiting to be used.

My thoughts: The answers are right in front of you. Unfold your talents. What is now a vision will soon become a reality. You are well prepared for a new venture. You have good leadership skills and confidence.

The Magician can combine the spiritual and the worldly and reap the benefits. He knows his purpose in life.

According to Waite’s Pictorial Key to the Tarot, the snake around his waist is symbolic of wholeness.

For some reason, The Magician reminds me of Jesus. Must be the robes and the headband. Notice the little dove engraved on the table. A symbol of Jesus too. The Dove of Peace.

The Magician teaches us by putting on a show. Doesn’t he look ready to perform? The things on the table are props for his show. The flowers above him and on the ground kind of frame the stage.

If this card were reversed, I would take it to be a ‘know it all’ kind of person. You know the kind who thinks they know everything, but really knows nothing.

• Mental aspects – well thought out. Unclouded thinking. Able to integrate the spiritual and science. He is the kind that would invent the time machine.

• Spiritual – he just lets the knowledge flow from above. He is not much into feeling his spirituality. He is more the explorer. Creating things would be a spiritual experience for him.

• Emotional – Can be a little intimidating. Calm, quiet, his passion smolders inside him and then he manages to channel it beautifully.

• Physical – You will find what you need if you use the tools correctly. A builder. Reminds me of my brother Dave. Started his business with a beat up van and borrowed tools and now he has a huge construction company.

• Soulful/the Soul’s Journey – The person has learned to be more careful and responsible in life. They have mastered the skills for the road of life, now it is time to walk the path.

• Business and Career – This guy has what it takes to get the job done. He is the project coordinator. He may tend to be one of those arrogant managers that get caught up in their own ‘greatness’

• Relationship – A teacher/ mentor role is waiting here. This guy is definitely the leader in any relationship he is in.

• Problematic – Can tend to be arrogant or intimidating. Power or skills have gone to ones head.

• Beneficial – Highly adaptable to any given situation. Surprises are handled with ease. Confidence.

Comparative Study

The Tarot of Prague and the Blue Rose Tarot both show their Magicians with masks and flowered hats. Sometimes the Magician is not what he seems to be. The hats with the flowers indicate to me inspiration from above. Both also have a wand through which they work their magic.

The Blue Rose Tarot by Paula Gibby:

From the Blue Rose’s Magician’s wand flows a rainbow. From his divine inspirations, beauty and joy, good fortune can be created here in life. On his hat are red flowers that for the passion his divine work invokes in him.

This Magician reminds me of one I saw when I was a child on a school trip. My Mom still has the picture I drew after the trip that shows me sitting in front of a stage with all the props and no Magician. You see I was a little frightened of him. That painted face and big false smile made me uncomfortable. I did not want to be tricked. Yet at the same time I was completely mesmerized by him. i was amazed by what he did with so much ease! Yet I was afraid of his power and how can we ‘read’ them when they wear these masks that cover their true intentions.

The particular Magician shows the trickster side of the Magician more than any other I work with. Mostly because of my own experiences.

The Tarot of Prague by Karen Mahony and Alex Ukolov:

The golden, flowering crown of divine inspiration sits on his head. Flowing down from above to bloom through our lives here on earth divine wisdom flows. What we do with it no one knows. This Magician wears a mask telling us what we see is not always what we get.

Mercury, the messenger is in the background swift and sure. Aside from the tools on his table, there are game boards. The chess board remind me that this magician sees life as a came, but not a game of chance, but a game of skill and cunning. BTW, nice body! The magician keeps his body in shape because it is a tool from God that can be used to achieve his purpose.

I notice also that there are many masked carved into the legs of the table. We all have many masks don’t we?

So, what do we get from this magician? Someone toned, skilled and using his mind and body to achieve a higher purpose. He is dependable. This person is highly skilled physically and mentally. There is also a side to him we can not see. He keeps his emotions from us. We can not read him. Perhaps the mask also means he is closed minded.

The World Spirit Tarot by Jessica Godino & Lauran O’Leary:

The Magician in this deck appears to be a shaman or Voodoo Priest. He looks South American to me and appears to be in a tropical climate.The hut has some kind of tapestries ? on the walls one with a picture of a heart. The magician in this card wears no mask. The top of his head is covered.

In his hut he dances within a circle while juggling the symbols of the elements with ease. candles are lit all around him and offerings from the earth are on the ground before him. This displays an important aspect of the Magician to me. His groundedness (juggling the elements and the offerings) and his spirituality (his dancing). What skill and concentration! amazing focus.

At the bottom of the card lemniscate showing that he is aware that his possibilities are boundless. also in the background are two  drums. Drums to me are the instrument that helps set our spirit free.

The Merryday Tarot by Louisa Poole:

The Apprentice: Initiate, dare. The man is holding his wand of inspiration up towards the heavens and  points with his left hand down toward Earth. He gathers knowledge from above and uses it here on earth.

Covering  his 3rd eye chakra, the chakra of intuition, is a white bandana. White standing for purity. His throat chakra, the chakra of communication and expression is covered as well with a red scarf to me meaning he communicates with passion. The heart chakra is covered with a necklace which to me represents loyalty and love to one’s self. THe 2nd Chakra or artistic chakra is covered by a belt that looks as though it might be the snake biting it’s tail, but hard to be sure.

As far as chakras go, what stands out to me most is the large red boots that he wears. Red is the color of the root chakra and the fact that he wears them shows me that he is firmly grounded.

All of the suit symbols are in the card and their positioning is interesting. The Pentacle and the Cup sit before him. The Wand is in his hand. Wand being the suit of ideas and inspiration and the fact that hie holds it in his hand leads me to feel this is a dominate trait of the Apprentice. The Cup and Pentacle before him portray the feelings of emotions and the material world as his primary concerns. The sword is behind him saying that the Apprentice may have a tendency to act first and think later.

He appears to be in a cave or dense part of a  forest. You can see the beautiful and spacious lands he has yet to explore waiting for him. Is he ready yet? Will he go out and journey them? You bet!  “ready or not, here I come!” is what I get from this card.  Hope he doesn’t forget his sword.

This is Why I Read For Myself


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So, I’m checking things out on FB and I come across a link to some Youtube videos with the creators of the Wildwood Tarot. I love the artist of this deck and the theme so I checked it out.  What followed were amazing syncronicities and clear messages!  I’ll try to keep it short but a little background is necessary.  

I watched the 3 parts and in the second part Mark Ryan talks about the Suit of Bows and the Bow spread that makes so much sense to me. To paraphrase it, Mark describes the bow as representing  you and all you can achieve in your life. When you put an arrow in it you pull back you are harnessing this energy. The arrow is your intent, your dream, your idea.  Please go check out the videos and try this deck. I have a new appreciation for it now. 


I also have been working with material by Sonia Choquette called The Answer is Simple which talks about the very simple process of connecting with Spirt. Sonia talks about how we are spiritual beings and like a light and life just spins around us but can never touch us. This relates to card 2.


So here is the reading slightly summarized because it is long:


I focused my question on what to do next with my career. I have a great job now and work with great people, but am ready for a change.  I wondered should I get my resume out there and see what happens. I also had this fleeting thought about wouldn’t it be cool if I could make a living doing the 3 things I love which are Tarot, Reiki and  designing knitting patterns. I quickly dismissed this as unpractical and thought maybe when I retire I will have more time for that sort of thing.


I laid out the cards face down even though I don’t normally. I am also unfamiliar with the deck. Never really looked at it before now.

Holy $hit!!!

I flip over the first card and it is the 7 of Arrows. The position is the person asking the question and the issue itself. This is me with all my thoughts, ideas, dreams and goals killing me. I am being choked by prickly vines and the roots behind me tell me that I have lost my hold. I have toppled over. The Green Woman is clearly suffering. My thoughts like above about my dreams not being practical are killing me! I am no longer able to grow.

The card in position 2 was a mind blower. While I was shuffling I also asked for a clear message from my Higher self. This is that message.   The position is “What is the focus of my issue? The point at which my skills can be FOCUSED to CONNECT with the heart of the situation”

This is where 17 The Pole Star fell. My Pole Star is my Spirit and that is what will guide me on my path! This is what Sonia teaches. To do the things we love as food for our Spirit.  The forest is thick and dark, and full of unknowns but the light illuminates me and lets me see where my next step will be.  The message here is simple. Don’t worry about what is afraid, but follow where Spirit leads you. My Spirit will illuminate my steps along the way. My focus then is clearly not to worry about where I’ll end up but just on one step at a time.

Position 3 is the conscious limb – My analytical process at work – I drew 3 of Arrows. Again, my arrows are piercing me! This is where I recall that when I was shuffling I shunned the idea of making a living doing what I love. I figured it to be unpractical. I am DESTROYING my hearts desire! Holy $hit! I need to make more time for the things I love. Stop listening to my conscious mind and listen to my heart. 

4 The Spiritual Limb – Emotional and Spiritual Elements present in the reading. I drew the Wanderer



DO I take that next step? Do I trust where my Spirit leads me? Will the path be there under the clouds when I do take that step?  The Fool is fearless. You can not fear what you do knot yet know. The rainbow is my sign of hope. I have nothing but my self to take with me.


5. Momentum of the situation – the string – I drew the Queen of vessels – Salmon – There is no turning back for me. I left the pool of saftey. Death is eh inevidable end, but I must go there! Nothing will stop me. I am driven.

6. The point of balance – enabling my energy – what guides my situation – 4 of Stones – Protection.  In working with Sonia’s course she asks us to consider what kind of spirit we have. What do we love. What are we like. This card represents the type of spirit I have. The first thing that came to me was that I like to feel safe and surrounded. I like to be home, a bit of a Hermit. I knit and love for my home to be welcoming and comfortable.  Even when on wonderful vacations a part of me misses home. I am also a person that likes to be alone in the woods. I remembered as a child how I would walk to the river and sit there for hours letting the sound of the water comfort me. I am an Earthy spirit and this is why I would want a career that allows me to work from home or be closer to home. I want to give others comfort through my Tarot, Reiki and knitting.

7 Arrowhead – My Personal intents aimed at the problem. The means with which I can come to terms with the question.  I drew the Shaman.. again,  a very personal message. Years ago I took a  Shamanistic journey in to a tarot card. The pack was provided by the Shaman and it was the Greenwood Tarot.  I know what I need to do. I need to enter into the card because this Shaman has a message for me. On that note…..I will light the candle and start meditating on him!


Numbers Simplified


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This is a post from October 2007.

I have really been immersing myself into learning more about the meaning of numbers lately. It was prompted by receiving a reading from Mama Juju using my very own Noblet deck. I was very impressed how she read the pips using a combination of the suits and number meanings. Last week Mama Juju and I got together and amongst other things she told me her system of using numbers for her readings.

1 – The Self. It’s all about me

2 – The Seed. A message of balance

3 – Trinity – me myself and I. Being all together present

4 – Foundation – laying a solid foundation from which everything else springs

5 – That center pole that lifts us up. Spiritual number. The comfort in knowing you are not alone.

6 – Change, like the spokes on a wheel

7 – Magical

8 – The second story. It takes everything to the next level

9 – Completion

0 – Constant, the never ending circle. All the potential that exists in the world. With zero you can take what ever you want out or put what ever you want inside that void. What goes around comes around.

10 – Regeneration – time to rest

11 – Spiritual awakening

Aside from Mama Juju’s method, I have purchased the book Numerology and the Divine Triangle by Faith Javane and Dusty Bunker. I have also been reviewing the posts to the series on the numbers on 78 Notes To Self by Ginny Hunt. This is an excellent review of the numbers and I can listen to it in the car on my way to work!



In One’s Element Reading with Maat Tarot


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Here is a reading also from 2007 using the Maat Tarot by Julie Cuccia-Watts. Hope you enjoy!

This is a wonderful spread I found on Roswila’s blog. You can see the details of this spread in my spread section here. This is a general reading and it incorporates the elements of the card and how it reacts to the element of the spread position when interpreting the spread. I felt inclined to use Julia Cuccia-Watts deck the Maat Tarot for this reading. It is my first reading with this deck.


Card 1/AIR(Will; what one is thinking or planning; ego consciousness) – I drew the Ace of Swords, Fire in Air – Supportive.

In this deck Swords represent fire. I know what I want in my life right now. I am confident and determined to get it. I am ready to change directions and purge myself of all of the thoughts that may hold me back. Speaking positive affirmations like the Reiki Principles each day in order to start myself off on the right way of thinking. Maintaining that mind frame throughout the day. I see a purging of old thoughts that are holding me back from attaining my goals. They have not worked for me in the past. I know how powerful my thoughts are in determining my future so I give them the attention and focus they deserve. Positive thinking = positive outcome. Willful thinking. I am driven.


Card 2/FIRE(The part of the life-plan coming in now; inspiration; urge; High Self; instruction; collective consciousness) – I drew the 7 of Cups, water in fire- painful or intense.


Staying focused and on track is hard for me because I am a dreamer. I tend to invert and self reflect. A good example is how I can just sit here in front of my computer, playing with my Tarot cards all day. My need to go within holds me back from accomplishing my goals. My home is my sanctuary and my tendency to become self absorbed with spiritual reflection makes it extremely hard for me to act on my plans. As I spend time working toward a goal a part of my soul is aching to dream and visualize. Visualization without action produces nothing. I must find the balance between visualization and action. Both are important.


Card 3/WATER (Emotion; intuition; this life’s past; past lives; collective unconsciousness) I drew the Queen of Cups. Water in Water.


I am so in tune with my Higher self. I go deep to my gut for answer because that is how my Higher self speaks to me. I am confident in my path. I know that by following this inner voice is why my life is on track now and why my future is bright. This card reminds me of myself when I was oh so young and naive and  pregnant with Joe. That strong love I felt for him and the undeniable knowing that he was meant to be in this world.  I listened to that voice and despite my young age had my child. This is all about that quiet and confident knowing that all is in good hands and we are not alone in this world. Everything is happening for a reason and by listening we get to where we need to go. Life is perfect just as it is now. Remember to listen. Just know.


Card 4/EARTH (What is materializing; body; health; resources; unconscious/subconscious on a personal level) I drew the 6 of Cups. Water in Earth – Supportive.

Kind of cool that this card came into the reading because I think it ties to card 2 and me being a daydreamer. As a child I was such a daydreamer in school and this really hindered. I do believe that here we see the positive side of it. Because of my ‘free’ imagination, I am unattached to a set way of thinking that may limit my aspirations. I read what is written about this card in Julie’s website, which you can read here . This card can mean nostalgia. I often think back to my childhood and the security I felt then. I also think to my dreams of what I wanted my home life to be like. I never let go of that dream and it is why I never caved in to life’s hardships. I believed that life is good. I am secure.


Card 5/SPIRIT (Probable outcome; may be connected to Card 2; what may be coming in) I drew the 9 of Coins.

Could I be more secure? This is exactly how I have always envisioned myself. In my beautiful garden. Privately enjoying my sacred space. Evolving into the amazing woman I was meant to be. When I was 19 and pregnant with my first child, I had no idea how it would work out, I just knew it would. I knew I would not go down. The unborn child growing in stages on this woman’s gown shows her evolution into a strong, independent, successful woman. She stares at the falcon on her arm as if it is her fears that she has tamed. Like the claws of this bird, fear can be fierce and do damage. She is protected from this and has full control. She looks life in the face and uses her fear to keep her moving forward. For some fear can hold us back. For others, like me and this woman, it motivates us to change our lives.

Brain Fried Fey


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I decided to post something on a lighter note today. Since I am transferring all my blog entries from my iWeb software many of the posts you will see are quite old. The following is a reading I did back in Jan of 2007 using one of my favorite decks the Fey Tarot. Enjoy!

This reading is part of an exercise I am doing on the Aeclectic Tarot Forum in the Fey Study forum. We will be doing 3 card readings every week and discussing them afterwards. So, without further ado, here is my past, present, future spread for the up coming week.

Well, first I must note that the 3 of pentacles fell out of the deck and slid across the floor while I was shuffling. This talks about my job. I see a Fey completely absorbed in his craft. This fey is painstakingly tending to the details of his work. He looks at it with a scrutinizing eye. The fey is dressed in pink and green both colors of the heart. His work is his passion and he puts his heart into it. The lizard on his shoulder represents his heart and passion leading him along. It too observes the work that has been done. He has all the tools he needs. This along with his passion and drive will lead him to complete his task with the utmost quality.

In the background stands a hooded fey who partially hides their face. It stands with it’s arms crossed as if it is impatiently waiting for the other fey to finish something. This fey holds a key around it’s waist which indicates it may have the answers the other fey needs or perhaps holds the key to the other fey’s future growth.

This card that fell out pretty much describes my work situation right now. I love the work I am doing and have been putting everything into this very important project I am working on. There is tons of work to do and really no time to worry about the details. There is also a hard deadline which is represented by the impatient looking fey in the back.

I have to begin by saying that I drew 3 swords.  This is a sure indication that the week ahead is going to really fry my brain. It will be a big challenge because there is so much to do and so little time. On top of this, I have a new person to train.

The Past – 2 of Swords – this card shows a fey with a look and stance as if it is charging at something. As it charges forward, the fey holds a dagger in front of it’s eyes blocking it’s site. It does not even see where it is going because it is so hell bent on getting there!  The moon in the background indicates a rather hazy and unclear view of the situation at best. The past has been all go, go, go with no time to think things through or asses the situation. The very accurately describes my situation at work. I am all geared up and my intentions were honorable, but perhaps I was not getting the best picture of the situation.

The Present – 9 of Swords – This defeated looking fey is on her knees, hugging herself. It looks like she is waiting for the sword to come down and take her life. The fey is shades of red and orange, both colors representing action and passion. It is interesting that the knife is tied to a rope and is not touching her. Does she realize that she is not in immediate danger? there is a star of hope in the sky outside her doorway if she would only look up and see it. The stairs going up are the only way out of her predicament emphasizing that the only way to go is up. I hope this is wrong, I really do. I have this feeling that I am going to go to work tomorrow and find my manager ready to pile on the work since the person replacing me has started today. I am quite sure that I am going to be feeling quite overwhelmed until this person is adequately trained. Perhaps I might feel that because I am behind, I am failing. I most look forward, not wallow in self torment.

The Future – 5 of Swords – A larger than life dagger is wedged into the desert sands. There is no life visible from where this sits. On the handle of the dagger sits a fey of orange color wearing a flowing orange wrap. From the palm of her hand she blows away star dust. above her head her spirit essence flows towards the sky.  I know exactly what this card means. It means I take my laptop and my piles of work and I find an empty office or meeting room and hide from everyone that interrupts me or needs my time. Sometimes this is the only way to get it done. The dagger is larger than life now, but rather than let it overcome her like it almost did in the 9 of Swords, she has now gotten a ‘handle’ on it. It is still huge, but she is on top of it. She blows her stardust because she can not help anyone else with anything other than that knowledge she has left them with in the past. I keep my Reiki Principles on the wall by my desk reading them when things are crazy keeps me in touch with the Divine and helps keep things in perspective. a lot like what is represented by the connection between the fey’s head and the universe.

My First Death Experience


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This is a meditation I did by entering the Death card. It was written in my journal on 8/30/03. It is a bit different than the one I previously posted a few days ago. Entering the cards is an excellent way to learn meanings for them. It gives you  a personal experience to draw upon in future readings.

I went into the card. I saw the bodies to my left falling as he quietly rode by. Just shells left behind.  He paused before he got to me and then looked at me straight on and pointed at me. Immediately I felt my body go limp. Before I even hit the ground I was gone. I flew like I was catapulted and weightless. I went into the spirit world. I saw my spirit guide smiling at me. Daddy was there, I noticed out of the corner of my eye. In front of me were 2 men. One, I knew, had been my father in another life.  I went to my Dad and my Grandma was beside him. Both were welcoming me. I hugged them both. They both looked happy. I went to my guide and we held each other close. I thanked her for all she does for me.

I turned back to my father and brother from another life. It was a life I had envisioned before where I was an old Indian woman with weathered hands. Lonely and an out cast. In that life, my father and brother had been  killed in a war with another tribe and I was made a slave by them. I had lost my freedom. I could have become a part of this new tribe but I refused. Knowing I’d be with them again someday is all that kept me going.

It felt so good to see them all again. My father told me I had to let go of my fear of being captive in order to find happiness. I can’t describe the overwhelming emotions I felt when seeing them again. How enlightened I felt. It was as if things suddenly made sense. Not only was this experience of “Death” painless, it brought forth so much knowledge and freedom and understanding.

Daddy told me it was time for me to go back and then suddenly I was on the field this time on the other side of Death. The field was large and fertile. He pointed out over the fields and told me my life was before me.  When I first went into the card, the sun was going down between the towers. Now the sun was coming up between the towers. Death told me to get on his hoarse and I rode with him toward the towers. As soon as we rode through the towers Death became the naked boy in the sun card. We were laughing and happy. I felt so free!!! The sun was beating down on us and I was very hot. I realized now that I was the only one on the hoarse. I hugged the horse’s neck. There were beautiful flowers everywhere. Lots of sunflowers.

My thoughts after this:

Being afraid of what the future might bring. Transformation, rebirth. Permanent change.  A revitalizing force that sweeps through you. Change is required. If you don’t change willingly, well, the Tower will take care of that.  You will be reborn.

Release your fears and look ahead. Today is new, the past is dead. Hanging on could mean lost opportunities. Experience is the greatest teacher. Worry will get you no where.

Reversed – You are putting off necessary changes out of fear. You are stuck in old habits and you don’t want to put forth the effort to change them. Depression. Don’t let things slide. Come to grips with life. Make new goals. “Time and work will change it all, stand up straight or you may fall”.

Death Card Meditation


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Death card meditation

I wanted to write something really amazing since it has been so long a time since I have blogged. I also have changed my blogging software. Apple is no longer supporting iWeb which is what I used for my on line journal.

I have been longing for change in my life, but like many I am afraid of the “what ifs”. To overcome this fear I have been immersing myself in the Death card. To bring renewal and change we must face our fears head on. One of the things I have always found helpful when seeking growth from the cards is to enter into the card for a little one on one interaction! I have done this with the Death card years ago and I will post that one as well, but here is what I got from it yesterday:

When I entered the card it was very barren and I could smell dead leaves rotting. There were many frightened people. I could feel the fear. The castle was shut off and this made me realize that fear causes us to shut ourselves off. We lose our humanity.

The people in the card were cowering from the Death Rider. When I looked at him, there seemed to be a veil distorting my view. In this veil there was a diamond shaped opening through which I could see clearly. I stepped through this doorway.

On the other side of the veil every thing was white. Not like light or as if I was on a cloud, but white like “nothing”. The horse was white and on the horse the Death Rider now appeared almost like an angel except his eyes were black. He wore white robes instead of armor and had blond hair and flesh. He still looked ominous but in a pre way. I wasn’t sure if I was going to get on the horse in front or in back of him. When I climbed on the horse I ended up being “in ” him. The horse took off and we began riding aimlessly into white nothingness. So I kept riding and going no where in nothingness waiting for the next thing to happen. Nothing happened. The horse just kept running until I realized I needed to talk to this hoarse. The hoarse stopped and I got down. He was milky white except for his black eye that was looking into me. It spoke, “I need to talk to you, Amy”. I knew it was very hard for him to speak so I told him to just “think” it. That is when the message for me started flowing:

“You took the first step and faced your fears by getting on my back. (IRL I am very afraid of horses!). When a hoarse senses your fears they react without reason and run in no apparent direction. You let go of your fear and that is when I stopped and listened. Now you can direct me and I will do the work while you lead me. You need to face and control your fears at all times. They can carry you far if you face them and give them direction! Keep them on the path. Make me work for you not against you. ”

In retrospect, my weakness is getting side tracked and loosing sight of my goals. I have so many ideas I want to bring to fruition that nothing gets done. I need to focus on one project at a time and not get distracted by fears and doubts. Just do it! Acknowledge my fears and then move on.

Once I understood this the diamond in the veil appeared again. I stepped through and was back into the card. As I was leaving the card I turned around and looked back at the Death Rider who was back to his skeletal form and he looked back and gave me a wink!